Monthly Archives: June 2014

Every Point on the Map

EPOTM: Criner, OK

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_DSC0096(click photo at left for full view) -CRINER, OK.

When we were driving into Criner the only thing my mom had been able to find out about the town from a quick LexisNexis search was that they had a Superfund site, and that there was a lady who got in an argument with her neighbors because her goats were…ahem, fornicating in her front yard and the neighbors didn’t much care to see this particular act of nature.  So heading into town we were sort of hoping to talk to goat lady because we thought that story was hilarious, but as it happens we found someone else in town to tell us her story.

Usually (I say usually, but we’ve only done ten towns. I don’t really know how often you have to do something to justify using the word “usually.”) when we enter a town we scope it out before trying to track down someone who is willing to talk to us while we’re lugging around equipment, asking a billion questions, and also being complete strangers.  We like to drive down whatever the main street seems to be, look for interesting architecture, count the churches along the main street, and then look for a place that might have someone interesting and willing to talk.

So as we drove into Criner we passed a house with a gate and some sort of signage that said something about goats so we got excited and said “Hey! We maybe found goat lady! Let’s come back to her if something else doesn’t come up.” Then we went and found the Superfund site, met a few friendly dogs that wanted to come along for the ride, and then drove by a cute fence that had an “Eggs for Sale” sign.

We then had a debate about if we wanted to go find out about egg lady or goat lady, mams (mams is what I call my mom who you probably know as Red Dirt Kelly, Kelly Marie, or Dr. Kelly M Roberts with some extra letters that I haven’t committed to memory) finally asked who I wanted to talk to since she had chosen in Dibble. Well I wanted to see the chickens and love farms eggs, so I chose “Egg Lady.” Continue reading EPOTM: Criner, OK →

Homestead and Garden, Oklahoma culture

How Billie Holiday, Hoboken Coffee and The Pioneer Woman Talked Me Down from my Starbucks Addiction

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Technology news is full of information about self-tracking apps helping to “quantify” yourself.  Fitbits track your sleep and exercise.  Apps like Mint help you track your spending habits. And…no, let’s just stop right there.  Apps like Mint track your spending patterns and help you see how out of control your coffee drinking habits are.

Okay, let’s stop again.  Mint tracked my “Coffee Shop” budget for six months and slapped me into reality.  And now, I’m better.  Here’s what happened…

A conversation sometime last year:

Me: I’m setting up our monthly budgets in Mint.  How much do you spend for golf every month.

Mick:  I don’t know, I don’t keep track.

Me:  Well, my one “luxury” every month is going to the coffee shop, relaxing with a latte, and reading.  I’m budgeting $120 per month for me.  That’s my luxury item.  How about you?  What’s your average golf expenditures?

Mick’s golf budget is not part of this story.  But, the idea that I was using social exchange theory is.  In one sense, quite honestly, I was trying to justify my coffee spending habits by externalizing Mick’s golf activity spending habits.  Fair for you; fair for me…

In another way, however, I was trying to find a “number” that fit with how much we were each going to allow ourselves on luxury items per month we had already been spending, but needed to acknowledge.  This “budget line item” allowance we gave ourselves worked like a charm.  For six months or so, we kept a silent tally in our heads of “approximately THAT number” for “our THING.”

But at some point, however, my number began to slip.  I quit paying attention to my “Coffee Shop” line item. And, it gently creeped upward. Until April of 2014.  April was big month.  A full month.  Cram packed with activities, late nights, extra projects, and…extra stops at Starbucks.  I met colleagues at Starbucks to go over goals for research.  It was legislative session, so I had planning sessions at Starbucks followed by phone meetings at Starbucks.  All of the sudden, my $120 Starbucks habit had turned into…wait, WHAT? TWO-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN DOLLARS??? Continue reading How Billie Holiday, Hoboken Coffee and The Pioneer Woman Talked Me Down from my Starbucks Addiction →

Every Point on the Map

EPOTM: Meeker, OK

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_DSC0126“You could probably just talk with anyone here.  We’re all like family…that guy just had a horse kick the valve stem off the tire on his trailer, so I helped him fix his flat.”

Rachel and I had stepped outside the car to find out what the assembly of hundreds of trailers, horses, and people was all about.  The man explaining the flat tire scenario had been looking at us with anticipation as soon as we told him about our project.

I’m not sure what it is about a split-second decision and all that goes into that moment.  For some reason, I wasn’t in the mood to talk with a guy who wanted to be the one we talked to.

I thanked him, glanced at Rachel, and understood she was in agreement to move on as well. If we were at a National Barrel Horse Association event, we wanted to find some racers.

It was a windy day. Hot, dry air swept through the camp, chapping lips and making those who had circled the wagons seek out their stores of cool water.  We pulled our small VW Jetta through the rows of trucks and trailers, looking for a better spot.  Soon, we had found our own makeshift “campsite” and parked the car.  Walking along the  fence line, we watched several riders warm up their horses for the next competition.

As we returned to our car, Rachel spotted a family who seemed approachable.  They appeared to be a mother and two daughters, and their relaxed, easy-going demeanors helped us know they might say yes to our standard question: “We’re traveling to every town in Oklahoma, and we’d like to have at least one conversation with someone in each of those towns.  Would you be willing to talk with us for a while?”

They said yes. Our equipment partially worked.  And, our video tells the rest of the story.

If you’re short on time…click here for a 30 second intro video.  Otherwise, this five minute video will give you a peek into the world of Melissa, Lauren and Brooklyn.  Precious people – living life and learning as they go.

Meeker, Oklahoma Wiki     Meeker Facebook Page   History of Meeker

27 Hats

I’m finding myself?

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UntitledThere’s a song that goes “I’m finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing is, its OK”*.

Such is life. The same can be said for experiencing the Grand Canyon. Hat number 11 of 27, save one, was acquired for just such a moment.

The year was 2010, and my eldest had recently graduated from high school and was preparing to go “off to college”. While tooling around the local Academy store a couple of weeks before the trip, I was tempted by what one might call a “sun hat”. You can type cast it: Khaki color, big round brim; you get the picture. Using our upcoming vacation and some time in the Grand Canyon as an excuse, I bought it: a bonafide “older man” hat.
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There is a great line from Jack Sparrow, Captain Jack Sparrow, at the end of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: …we’ve reached a very special place here: spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. Then he looks at his friend, who is wearing something appropriate for the event, but a little out of character, and he tells him “nice hat”. Continue reading I’m finding myself? →

Every Point on the Map

EPOTM: IXL, OK

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_DSC0215Mother’s Day Eve, 2014, was full of more emotion than I would have liked.

Rachel and I had just finished our conversation in Boley and were cruising north on Highway 48.  We were running out of daylight, and had thought we might get to Bristow in enough time to find a good dinner.  We needed to debrief; our heads were full of pieces of life that needing sorting.

Mine was full of the past 48 hours.  I had been to two hospitals evaluating a human being who had not yet finished high school but wanted so badly to end his/her life they nearly succeeded.  Rachel had finished an event for a non-profit the night before; they had been working on it for quite some time. Fundraisers tap a person’s energy reserves.  And, after having spent time in Boley I was extremely aware of how towns in Oklahoma are just hanging by a thread, and entire communities can turn on a dime…or the closing of a school.

I tell you this because the thoughts in my head were fading my peripheral vision as I drove north.  I barely noticed the “CASTLE” sign, and when I read the “IXL” sign I wasn’t even sure it was a town name.  For just a moment, though, I had been scanning the east and west wondering about IXL, Oklahoma when I noticed a man on the side of the road as we passed.

His white beard shone in the dusky light.  Seated in a recliner in the middle of a make-shift front yard, his presence intrigued me.  I mentioned him to Rachel.

“You know, our conversation with someone in IXL was right there.  We should have stopped.”

“Well, do you want to go back?”

“I don’t know.  I’m a little tuckered out.  Not sure…”

“Mom, if you WANT to talk to him, then this is your chance.  Don’t pass up something that’s right here…you might wish you had later.”

This was the difference between youth and age.  I was allowing my body to prioritize my thoughts, the first being: “I’m tired.”

“You’re right,” I answered.  “Let’s go back.”

Continue reading EPOTM: IXL, OK →